‘I wonder’ took on new meaning for me when Hollie Holden spoke about learning to use the phrase if asked a question that she is not sure how to answer.

This is especially relevant with children and questions like “How does Santa get into our apartment if the door is locked, and we are on the 5th floor?” or “Where does the rainbow end?” (both questions I remember being asked). To respond with, ‘I wonder’ opens doors in the imagination for both child and parent.

Thanks to the Anthroposophical teacher who suggested this to Hollie, I have been applying, ‘I wonder’, to many questions as they arise.

AND, I wonder why people do not immediately and naturally make the connection back to conception, pregnancy and birth when exploring personal and societal patterns.

As always when exploring human consciousness and psychology, there could be myriad answers:

* We have been told that we don’t remember by ‘the authorities’, i.e. doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, scientists.
Who was the authority at your birth?
Was anyone listening to your mother?
Was anyone listening to You?

* For most of us birth was a shocking experience of sensory overload, a nightmare of epic proportions.
We will simply do Anything to avoid remembering the drastic drop in temperature; the dramatic change in the sounds that we perceive and the brilliance of the light; the shock of the lungs forced open by being startled into taking a breath, and then having the cord clamped and cut with 1/3 of our blood still inside the placenta, and the major organs ‘coming on line’ with blood flow changing to go to the lungs and the organs unused before.

When we especially need time to integrate, time to settle, time to ‘come into’ the body in a new way, we experience SEPARATION from the only body and mind we have ever known. Even if it is for a few minutes, that is a ‘lifetime’ for a new born human being!

* We are distracted by glitter and advertising and drama in our lives every moment of everyday.
The only species that can say one thing, do another, and think something else all at the same time, we have the ability to ‘hide’ what we don’t want to acknowledge. We have the ability to express what we choose, even though there is an overriding archetypal negative thought, ‘I don’t have a choice’, in developed society.

* ‘OTHERness’ is also a factor.
Where did we learn that ‘they can do it to me anytime they want to’? For some it was from Mothers who surrendered their power believing that others knew more about their bodies than they did. We appear to be helpless and powerless at birth, yet we are communicating telepathically and drawing conclusions about how it is to be here. It Is empowering for the baby and for the family if someone is listening and acknowledging the communication, intention, and love of this new Being.

I wonder if the knowledge that ‘there is no one to blame’ has anything to do with denial of Birth as the Source Experience.

When we acknowledge and then actually allow ourselves to experience consciousness in the womb and at birth, it is natural to take responsibility for being here. Nothing is ever the same again. In my experience of remembering my birth, I have taken responsibility for healing, step by step, the pain and negativity that I experienced, as well as the pain that I thought that I caused my mother. Facing the fact, ‘there is no one to blame’, actually sent me to bed for a few days of deep integration.

What do you think is the cause of the resistance to re-experiencing, releasing, and healing birth?

Please, join in a conversation about this.

30 October 2016, Copenhagen, Denmark