Give Yourself the Gift
Recently, I have been asked time and again to speak about forgiveness, especially in the context of recent world events and the renewed awareness of the continuing psychic and physical assault on women.
I know that forgiveness is the key for us all to experience peace and happiness. I believe it to be a life style rather than a onetime ‘healed, done and dusted’ event. It is an attitude of embrace and love, of giving and receiving as one.
“I am healing separation in myself through Forgiveness!”
For those of us born in developed society with all its fear based systems, forgiveness offers ultimate freedom. We begin to learn about guilt, blame of others and of ourselves in the womb, and these beliefs are confirmed at birth. It can seem that there is no other way of being. Yet there is a quiet place in all of us where we question, where we know, ‘there must be a better way’.
We are directed toward forgiveness. And, in most processes of forgiving we find that the act we intend to forgive is held as part of the declaration, i.e. ‘I forgive you for lying to me’. To appear to be good we must “turn the other cheek”, and we are left with feelings of frustration and rage. What do we do with the feelings? In developed, ‘civilised’ social structures we are expected to turn our energy inward, for it would be uncivilised to “act out”, someone might be hurt.
I think that all forms of therapy are an attempt to resolve and to integrate those feelings that, ultimately, we hold against ourselves.
“How could I possibly have put myself into that situation?” is the question behind all the blame, and the reason that we begin to destroy ourselves. It is essential that we find the means to express in ways that enhance our lives and that keep our precious Life Energy moving so that we can be available to appreciate beauty, experience pleasure, and be of service.
Women, especially, are expected to hold back. They are told that they are ‘too much’ or ‘too emotional’. Birthing women have been directed to keep quiet, and noise and movement in labour discouraged. It is normal procedure to administer drugs in labour. Fear of pain in birth has been instilled in the cultural mind and body memory.
The drugs slow the natural progress of labour and rob women of the experience of fabulous, empowering energy that is their birth right and that of their children. Instead of being supported to expand and become more alive and expressive women have spent eons being used and abused. Suppressed rage and victim consciousness are underlying the self- critical, super refined façade that women have adopted in an attempt to appear calm and ‘in charge’. Unexpressed energy becomes toxic and destructive to the body, mind and spirit.
How do we take the energy of lifetimes of repression and use it to move society in the direction of Love and Connection, TRUE WISDOM?
First, we must stop saying ‘everything is OK’, acknowledge the fear and the feelings. For myself, I have found that I could not change the people around me. I could not change the past. I seemed to go around in circles when I tried. As I began to learn to experience and to handle my energy, accessing it with breathing practices and consciously choosing the thoughts:
“I am safe with all of my energy”, “My body is safe no matter how I may be feeling”, I discovered a very profound truth.
Others were safe with my energy, because I was not using it to protect myself or to project my fears on to them. I was able to contain and integrate and expand. I began to take responsibility for all my life energy and, rather than reactivate old thinking, I learned to respond to it in present time.
Each conscious step toward the nourishment of the Archetypal Affirmations, one at a time, up through the chakra system, has brought me closer to the peace and love that I know that I am. Taking the time to pay attention to oneself in this way can appear selfish to others in the beginning of the process.
I began to understand and to be compassionate.
I have discovered that I am innocent; not without mistake. I have simply become keenly aware that my intentions are pure. I have become able to see how my actions motivated by fear were the only avenues I thought were open to me at the time. In the attitude of love and acceptance I can be in present time receiving all of myself and begin to give the understanding and compassion I have so desperately desired.
From that inner experience, I can step out.
Listening to myself with love, I am more able to listen to everyone with love and receive them where they are. Acceptance of “what is” is the first step toward true and lasting change. The attempt to change circumstances is futile and endlessly distracting.
We can become the change.
As we experience the shift from fear to safety, from separation to connection, there can appear to be peril in the form of confusion and chaos. Each step must be conscious and supported. All the means are available when the commitment is solid. It can take as long as it takes. The “holy instant” of enlightenment is always available.
Giving and receiving the truth of your True Being to yourself is to forgive and to become forgiveness.
In Love, Binnie
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